My favorite humorist, Oscar Wilde, quoted a popular adage that I absolutely love: “If you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for anything.” Last Sunday, I gave another presentation about cults—specifically my own cult experience—and used that adage to convey this:
Anyone who does not stand for values such as respectful discussion, empathy, and transparent leadership, just might find themselves falling for a cult.
After my talk, which was at The University Unitarian Universalist Society in Orlando, I offered the following information at the table where I sold copies of Undertow.
Feel free to share this info, which I’ve learned from my own experience and from books cited at the end, with anyone who is worried about a loved one (or themselves!) in danger of falling for a controlling organization making promises that sound too good to be true.
A word of caution
Be wary about spending boatloads of time and energy trying to talk someone out of their involvement in a group that you see as manipulative and deceptive–but remain open to talk about it if they want to. Mark Twain said, “It’s easier to fool a man, than to convince him he has been fooled.”
What Do You Know About Cults?
We hear the word cult often these days, especially in conversations about movies such as The Handmaid’s Tale and Going Clear and the recent A&E television series, Cults and Extreme Beliefs.
If you’ve read the Preface of Undertow, my memoir, you may remember I used the following definition of cult.
What is a cult?
“An ideological organization held together by charismatic relationships and demanding total commitment.”
~ Benjamin Zablocki, PhD, “Cults: Theory and Treatment Issues.”
How do cults recruit?
Promises and pressure
What are some warning signs?
- Charismatic, authoritarian, self-proclaimed leader without a check on power
- Deceptive recruiting (often sincere)
- Critical inquiry viewed as “persecution”
- Organized psychological manipulation
- Emotional, sexual, and financial exploitation
- Inner circle of loyal followers with secret beliefs/behavior
- No meaningful economic transparency
How do cults undermine freedom?
- Demand loyalty to cult leader/ideology
- Disallow freedom of religion (theirs is the only right one)
- Intimidate to prevent free thought
- Control personal goals
- Destabilize freedom of association
How can we respond to recruiters? A B C D
A – Always research group
B – Be firm when refusing recruitment
C – Challenge appealing promises
D – Don’t tolerate deception, even from a friend
Warning
An imbalance of power is an opportunity for abuse
Some helpful sources
Combatting Cult Mind Control by Steven Hassen
Recovery from Cults, edited by Michael D. Langone, PhD
Bounded Choice by Janja Lalich, PhD
See you next time!
Your writer on the wing,
Charlene
Phyllis
Informative. I have wondered why or how intelligent people get sucked in to cults.
Billy Williams
Can I go back in time and recognize these warning signs before I was swept into the Way? 🙂 Still working on recovery; probably always will be.
Linda Goddard
Thank you, Charlene, for such informative and detailed ideas about Cults and how they manipulate people.
It takes great courage to tell your story, and I have a lot of admiration for you for doing so, and also for your dedication to sharing your experience publically.
Your work can help inform others who might be in danger of being ensnared by such harmful groups.
My best regards for your work
Ralph Dubofsky
Another excellent blog post Charlene! TY!
Charlene L. Edge
Thanks everyone for taking the time to place a comment here. For more info on high-control groups, check out the International Cultic Studies Association website: http://www.icsahome.org